So today was a pretty good day. I’m feeling a lot better because I messaged that guy that I went off on yesterday and talked to him for a bit. He wasn’t mad and we had a good convo. I’m really happy about that :) Hopefully I can NOT get mad at him all the time and talk to him like we’re friends. :) Besides that, I saw a lot of cute guys that I like. There’s like 3 or 4 that i find REALLY cute and I saw them all :) I also went to Chipotle and Starbucks with my friend and it was GREAT. I am IN LOVE with Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, and Chipotle :)
In addition to all the good, there is some bad. For one thing, I dont’ know what to get my friends for Christmas. One of my friend bought me like this REALLY CUTE little Dunkin’ Donuts Christmas ornament for Christmas so now I have to get her something. I also have to shop for my friends birthday gift. Lastly, I have to find something for my roommate. I just don’t know what to buy =/ I’m not really good at presents. The other thing that’s bothering me is my roommate herself. Like I honestly can’t stand her. Her laugh and the way she talks and eats all annoy me. But its not even that. There’s a lot more that I can’t stand about her. Like the fact that she snores when she sleeps. She sleeps like a LOT earlier than me and its soo hard for me to fall asleep cause she snores like a 90 year old man. Like you can hear it from outside the room..way down the hallway….-__________________- In addition, she only really cares about herself. Like she expects me to listen to talk about her bullshit but when I start talking..she just doesn’t pay attention. Like wtf? She also like won’t wait for you if you tell her to wait cause you have to do it too. Like she will just do everything for herself without even thinking about you. like wtf? I cant wait till spring semester is over and I don’t have to talk to her. Like I don’t think I can live with her anymore…..
But the good overrides the bad so I’m okay :) now im off to study for the rest of the night. WISH ME LUCK! :) love you all <3
I had to come on here just to rant because I’m really upset. My problem is that I have a tendency to push away people that love me. And I know I shouldn’t but I think it’s because I want people to show me they care about me. That even if I keep pushing you away, you will love me enough to keep coming back for me. I expect that from people but I don’t do it myself. It really sucks. I’m not someone who keeps fighting to keep a friendship alive. If someone leaves me, then I’m like whatever and let them go. Yesterday I was a bitch to a guy who is ALWAYS nice to me. Whenever I bitch at him or yell at him or get mad at him, he ALWAYS comes back trying to make me happy. He always tries to make me laugh or try to hug me or try to get me to forgive him by acting cute. He is someone who I KNOW cares about me. I feel SUPER guilty about being a bitch to him. Like why did I do that? He doesn’t deserve it at all. And I learned a while ago that eventually, people get tired of fighting to keep a friendship alive that they just let it go. I don’t want that to happen to us. I REALLY like him as a friend. And I know that no matter where we end up in the future, I always want to be friends with him. I just feel REALLY bad that i treated him like that. Like I don’t want to lose him. I’m afraid of that. I am trying to change but its hard. I just really hope he doesn’t hate me. I also have a quiz tomorrow that I’m going to fail since I cant focus because i’m so upset. I should probably sleep as well since I have class in 7 hours but I know i’m not going to be able to because i’m still mad at myself. UGH. I WANNA CRY. I might text him tomorrow just to make sure everything is okay. I’m PRAYING that I run into him tomorrow so I can give him a BIG hug and just talk to him. For some reason, I can never get tired of talking to him. I hope tomorrow is better. :(
So i BARELY go on this tumblr because I’m always SUPER busy with homework & studying. But i REALLY need to vent this stuff cause i think my friends are tired of hearing about it.
So im a HUGE fan of Justin Bieber. All of my family and friends know that. Well, school started september 4th. I didnt pay much attention to anything. But then i found this one guy. I thought he was KINDA cute but didnt really pay much attention to him since he looked like a jerk. Then the next week, i realized he looked liek justin bieber. Since then, i have been OBSESSED with him. Its soo bad! i dont know why i feel this way :( Im not sure if its cause he looks like Justin Bieber or just cause hes cute. like i ALWAYS wanna be with him or near him..i ALWAYS wanna know where he is & what he’s doing. He is in ALL of my classes except one. So i legit see him 24/7 ALL the time. But i dont feel like thats enough. :( & i tell my cousin & friends about him but i think they are tired of hearing about me rant about him. Hes all i think about! whenever im in all of my classes, all i do is stare at him. just straight stare at him. like its THAT bad. i dont think ive ever felt this way or done this for ANYONE. like i get work done & i still study & stuff but hes ALWAYS on my mind. I also found out that he’s majoring in the SAME THING im majoring in. so we’re pretty much gonna have the SAME classes till we graduate. So i dont even know what to say or do. I havent actually had a conversation with him yet but i REALLY wanna tlk to him. He’s not really boyfriend material but i REALLY want him to be my best friend. His friends are douchebags but he isnt. & i dunno. UGH. I cant stop thinking about him! i wish i could spend 24/7 with him!! hopefully ill get the balls to talk to him in atleast one of my classes…-__- the only problem is that he always sits so far away from me..but im gonna TRY to sit closer to him. I dunno =/ UGH UGH UGH. someone help me!
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